When things go wrong - dealing with emergencies at sea
When we first started sailing, my husband’s uncle – a fisherman and keen sailor – planted a seed in our minds that has proven to be invaluable. He said, ‘Sailing is 85% sheer fun. For the rest – well, there is 10% that is hard work and 5% that you’d rather not think about’.
In our early days of sailing, whenever things would go wrong or we’d stuff something up, we’d laugh and say, ‘That must be one of those 10% moments!’ or if we were really struggling with something we said we were having a 5% moment. It kept us heading out and going back for more rather than focussing on the things that were hard or went wrong. We put the event down to experience, called it one of that small percentage of moments that were not fun and focussed on the bigger picture – the 85% great, fantastic time we had on the water.
Of course there are problems and then there are problems, some things will be easier to manage than others, We have come to see that the key to facing significant problems, without letting them rob you of the joy of sailing, is your mental preparation and a few important mental strategies.
Plan for Crisis.
Obviously I don’t mean to plan a crisis, because for the most part, a crisis is going to be an unexpected event – but while the particulars might be unexpected, the fact of encountering a crisis is not.
1. If at all possible, stop - take a few moments to breathe. Fatigue doesn’t often produce good decisions. Step away from the situation for a moment. Splash some water on your face. If you haven’t had much to eat or drink get something to sustain you. It’s amazing how much more clearly you can think when you are feeling a bit fresher.
2. Assess the risk. Capable skippers will do this instantly in their heads, but it is important, wherever possible, to discuss the situation with your crew. This kind of discussion can benefit an anxious crew, allay fear and has the advantage of allowing for a sharing of knowledge, skills and resources. The skipper might be the one who is ultimately responsible, but is not necessarily the only one with ideas! Including your crew in a conversation, welcoming ideas as appropriate, also allows you the opportunity to think out loud which will often result in more clarity and clearness – and of course active participation in problem solving involves developing the skills of the crew and ultimately enhances everyone’s problem solving ability.
3. Define the problem, then identify possible solutions. Without intending to state the obvious it is really a given that when things are going wrong sometimes panic sets in and rationality slips away. Making a conscious effort to define the problem (/s) is a powerful tool in reigning in fear. Things that initially seem momentous often quickly dissolve and re-materialize as manageable problems. In some critical situations on board you are not going to have the luxury of time to reflect, list ideas, slowly try different options – you will sometimes face an urgent and immediate danger where limited time is itself a factor– however – thinking things through deliberately does not have to be time consuming. For many this comes naturally, if it doesn’t it can be a learned skill – a definite practice of defining the actual problem and then considering the possible solutions.
4. In the case of family groups where Skippers are the husband and father as well as the captain, some things might need to be handled differently. A sailing family is not a group of unrelated sailors. The lines are not drawn clearly. Depending on the age or ages of the children things may need to be handled in different ways. Each sailing family will have to figure out what will work for them in their different situation – but what matters is to have the conversation – to anticipate crisis and plan how you will handle it. With young children you are not likely to involve them in decision making but they may well be aware that something is happening. Fear is more likely to dominate and it may be important to sit with them and take a moment to explain what is happening and what is going to happen. Taking a moment in a critical situation to dispel fear and instil confidence can be very significant.
When a decision is made whilst sailing in our family, it is final - absolute and unquestioned – even by me. Even if I think it is wrong. There is only room for one Skipper when our yacht is on the ocean! When we are on shore, this may change somewhat and I have much more of a say about how we do things. Whatever your ideas about equality and about family members contributing to decision making, when you are sailing It is really important that these issues are figured out.
5. If at first you don’t succeed…. Keep trying things until you get something that works. Lateral thinking is central here – and a certain amount of tenacity. Sometimes the first idea doesn’t work. Or the second, or the fifth! It’s so important to not be stuck in what seems the only solution, or the best solution. Sometimes we think we can see straight away what the best answer is, but when it fails another idea materialises and it often turns out to be the best solution. In many situations it will be the last thing you try that will prove to be the best solution. Necessity, it is said, is the mother of invention! But remember too that each situation you face and deal with builds your knowledge base and confidence in tackling that problem next time.
6. Picture yourself succeeding. Steven Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, says that everything is created twice – first in your imagination, then in reality. If all you can see as you enter a narrow entry channel is the boat getting stuck on a sand bar or crashing into rocks, then statistically that is more likely to happen. If instead you can picture the yacht securely tied off and you sitting down to enjoy a cold beer or hot cuppa, it is much more likely that you will succeed. This might seem naïve and perhaps a little simplistic and I am not in any way implying that there is any short cut for good planning, plain hard work, persistence, patience, etc but I am saying that what you think is going to set the tone for where your mind might go and this is likely to flow to your crew.
Driving instructors teach this principle and it is known that crashes are less likely to happen if drivers keep their attention on the road and not the tree they need to avoid. So keep success as your focus!
This is a vital skill for women who are frequently likely to be more imaginative thinkers than their male counterparts – able to see the boat crashing or floundering on nearby rocks – picturing all the potential disasters as if they were unfolding before them. Visualising success in difficult situations guards against panic and anxiety and inhibits the growth of fear.
7. It is important to have a de-brief and discuss how things happened and what steps might have led to something going wrong – to take the time to identify things that you might do differently next time.
Have a plan for handling any recriminations and self-talk that you might engage in. First of all resist the temptation to lay blame. It is so important to simply accept that things go wrong and it doesn’t have to be someone’s fault. It is tragic that after almost every natural disaster that there has to be an enquiry so we can determine who was to blame – it has almost become a national sport to pin the responsibility onto some unfortunate public servant or public figure – and it doesn’t seem to really matter who. As a society we seem to feel better if we can identify someone to be angry with and blame. That’s not to say that if there was a breakdown in communication or something similar that we don’t learn from that and try to put things in place to minimise the risk next time, but the propensity to lay blame and point the finger at someone is very sad and is a part of the human condition that is pretty unfruitful to say the least. When it comes to sailing there is likely only a select few who can be blamed – yourself or a member of your crew. None of you deserve to cop the blame or bear the full weight of responsibility even if a mistake was made.
It is also important to not wear blame yourself – beat yourself up over a situation that has gone wrong - play the blame-game internally. This is a self-defeating behaviour and only results in a loss of confidence - nothing fruitful will come of it. If you have a tendency towards self-recrimination, now is the time to break free of it. There is no place for this kind of damaged and damaging thinking aboard a boat.
8. Finally, if you want to keep sailing even after things have gone terribly wrong - in your debrief, make sure you identify what went well - what ideas you tried that were good. What you can carry through with you for next time. Make sure that if crew members stepped up and did a good job that you acknowledge them. This is your opportunity to leave a difficult situation with a positive attitude – and it is this that will keep you sailing even when things go horribly wrong. If possible laugh at silly things that happened – note – not at silly people – there are no silly people aboard – only silly things that happen, silly behaviours etc.
Undoubtedly things will go wrong from time to time. Being prepared for them will make a difference and will ensure that your difficulties will simply be stories you have to tell later and experience accumulated that aids you as you continue on in the sailing life you have chosen.
Printed in The Cruising Helmsman May 2012
In our early days of sailing, whenever things would go wrong or we’d stuff something up, we’d laugh and say, ‘That must be one of those 10% moments!’ or if we were really struggling with something we said we were having a 5% moment. It kept us heading out and going back for more rather than focussing on the things that were hard or went wrong. We put the event down to experience, called it one of that small percentage of moments that were not fun and focussed on the bigger picture – the 85% great, fantastic time we had on the water.
Of course there are problems and then there are problems, some things will be easier to manage than others, We have come to see that the key to facing significant problems, without letting them rob you of the joy of sailing, is your mental preparation and a few important mental strategies.
Plan for Crisis.
Obviously I don’t mean to plan a crisis, because for the most part, a crisis is going to be an unexpected event – but while the particulars might be unexpected, the fact of encountering a crisis is not.
1. If at all possible, stop - take a few moments to breathe. Fatigue doesn’t often produce good decisions. Step away from the situation for a moment. Splash some water on your face. If you haven’t had much to eat or drink get something to sustain you. It’s amazing how much more clearly you can think when you are feeling a bit fresher.
2. Assess the risk. Capable skippers will do this instantly in their heads, but it is important, wherever possible, to discuss the situation with your crew. This kind of discussion can benefit an anxious crew, allay fear and has the advantage of allowing for a sharing of knowledge, skills and resources. The skipper might be the one who is ultimately responsible, but is not necessarily the only one with ideas! Including your crew in a conversation, welcoming ideas as appropriate, also allows you the opportunity to think out loud which will often result in more clarity and clearness – and of course active participation in problem solving involves developing the skills of the crew and ultimately enhances everyone’s problem solving ability.
3. Define the problem, then identify possible solutions. Without intending to state the obvious it is really a given that when things are going wrong sometimes panic sets in and rationality slips away. Making a conscious effort to define the problem (/s) is a powerful tool in reigning in fear. Things that initially seem momentous often quickly dissolve and re-materialize as manageable problems. In some critical situations on board you are not going to have the luxury of time to reflect, list ideas, slowly try different options – you will sometimes face an urgent and immediate danger where limited time is itself a factor– however – thinking things through deliberately does not have to be time consuming. For many this comes naturally, if it doesn’t it can be a learned skill – a definite practice of defining the actual problem and then considering the possible solutions.
4. In the case of family groups where Skippers are the husband and father as well as the captain, some things might need to be handled differently. A sailing family is not a group of unrelated sailors. The lines are not drawn clearly. Depending on the age or ages of the children things may need to be handled in different ways. Each sailing family will have to figure out what will work for them in their different situation – but what matters is to have the conversation – to anticipate crisis and plan how you will handle it. With young children you are not likely to involve them in decision making but they may well be aware that something is happening. Fear is more likely to dominate and it may be important to sit with them and take a moment to explain what is happening and what is going to happen. Taking a moment in a critical situation to dispel fear and instil confidence can be very significant.
When a decision is made whilst sailing in our family, it is final - absolute and unquestioned – even by me. Even if I think it is wrong. There is only room for one Skipper when our yacht is on the ocean! When we are on shore, this may change somewhat and I have much more of a say about how we do things. Whatever your ideas about equality and about family members contributing to decision making, when you are sailing It is really important that these issues are figured out.
5. If at first you don’t succeed…. Keep trying things until you get something that works. Lateral thinking is central here – and a certain amount of tenacity. Sometimes the first idea doesn’t work. Or the second, or the fifth! It’s so important to not be stuck in what seems the only solution, or the best solution. Sometimes we think we can see straight away what the best answer is, but when it fails another idea materialises and it often turns out to be the best solution. In many situations it will be the last thing you try that will prove to be the best solution. Necessity, it is said, is the mother of invention! But remember too that each situation you face and deal with builds your knowledge base and confidence in tackling that problem next time.
6. Picture yourself succeeding. Steven Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, says that everything is created twice – first in your imagination, then in reality. If all you can see as you enter a narrow entry channel is the boat getting stuck on a sand bar or crashing into rocks, then statistically that is more likely to happen. If instead you can picture the yacht securely tied off and you sitting down to enjoy a cold beer or hot cuppa, it is much more likely that you will succeed. This might seem naïve and perhaps a little simplistic and I am not in any way implying that there is any short cut for good planning, plain hard work, persistence, patience, etc but I am saying that what you think is going to set the tone for where your mind might go and this is likely to flow to your crew.
Driving instructors teach this principle and it is known that crashes are less likely to happen if drivers keep their attention on the road and not the tree they need to avoid. So keep success as your focus!
This is a vital skill for women who are frequently likely to be more imaginative thinkers than their male counterparts – able to see the boat crashing or floundering on nearby rocks – picturing all the potential disasters as if they were unfolding before them. Visualising success in difficult situations guards against panic and anxiety and inhibits the growth of fear.
7. It is important to have a de-brief and discuss how things happened and what steps might have led to something going wrong – to take the time to identify things that you might do differently next time.
Have a plan for handling any recriminations and self-talk that you might engage in. First of all resist the temptation to lay blame. It is so important to simply accept that things go wrong and it doesn’t have to be someone’s fault. It is tragic that after almost every natural disaster that there has to be an enquiry so we can determine who was to blame – it has almost become a national sport to pin the responsibility onto some unfortunate public servant or public figure – and it doesn’t seem to really matter who. As a society we seem to feel better if we can identify someone to be angry with and blame. That’s not to say that if there was a breakdown in communication or something similar that we don’t learn from that and try to put things in place to minimise the risk next time, but the propensity to lay blame and point the finger at someone is very sad and is a part of the human condition that is pretty unfruitful to say the least. When it comes to sailing there is likely only a select few who can be blamed – yourself or a member of your crew. None of you deserve to cop the blame or bear the full weight of responsibility even if a mistake was made.
It is also important to not wear blame yourself – beat yourself up over a situation that has gone wrong - play the blame-game internally. This is a self-defeating behaviour and only results in a loss of confidence - nothing fruitful will come of it. If you have a tendency towards self-recrimination, now is the time to break free of it. There is no place for this kind of damaged and damaging thinking aboard a boat.
8. Finally, if you want to keep sailing even after things have gone terribly wrong - in your debrief, make sure you identify what went well - what ideas you tried that were good. What you can carry through with you for next time. Make sure that if crew members stepped up and did a good job that you acknowledge them. This is your opportunity to leave a difficult situation with a positive attitude – and it is this that will keep you sailing even when things go horribly wrong. If possible laugh at silly things that happened – note – not at silly people – there are no silly people aboard – only silly things that happen, silly behaviours etc.
Undoubtedly things will go wrong from time to time. Being prepared for them will make a difference and will ensure that your difficulties will simply be stories you have to tell later and experience accumulated that aids you as you continue on in the sailing life you have chosen.
Printed in The Cruising Helmsman May 2012